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The Queen of England was visiting one of Canada’s top hospitals, and during her tour of the floors she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating.
“Oh my god!”, said the Queen, “That’s disgraceful, what is the meaning of this?”
The doctor leading the tour explains, “I’m sorry Your Majesty, this man has a very serious condition where the testicles rapidly fill with semen. If he doesn’t do that five times a day, they would explode and he would most likely die instantly.”
“Oh, I am sorry” said the Queen.
On the next floor they passed a room where a young nurse was giving a patient a blow job.
“Oh my God”, said the Queen, “What’s happening in there?”
The Doctor replied, “Same problem, better health plan.”
The world mourns the death of one of the brightest stars in the history of modern music.
Michael Jackson, King of Pop, died this morning due to cardiac arrest. He was 50.
OMFG?!
WHAT?!
Seriously, this is one shocking news to wake up to on a Friday. Everyone is talking about it. Just look at your Facebook and i am sure most, if not all, of your friends’ status is about the death of Michael Jackson. And let us not go into twitter here. I dare say the whole world is talking about it right now.
He is just that famous, that influential. Tell me, which other celebrity in recent times have received this kind of world-wide attention when they died? No offence here, but David Carradine wasn’t even close.
Ask anyone on the street and it is rare to find anyone who do not know Michael Jackson. While we may not recall his songs straight off the mind, we can definitely associate Michael to his signature dance moves. His moonwalk is so popular that basically when you mention Michael Jackson, people will just start doing the moonwalk.
Of course, there is no denying of the fact that he was involved in lawsuits brought against him regarding child molestation. And the debate about the change in his skin colour – I prefer to believe the skin disease story, not because he purposely bleach it – is still on. And yes, his nose-job failure is still the talk of the town occasionally.
But like everyone else, who has not erred before? Let us put aside his faults and instead focus on his achievements. I guess there is no need for me to elaborate on it but without a doubt, he is one of the best entertainer the world has ever seen. A gifted performer, the King of Pop title is simply befitting of an icon that will be remembered for ages to come.
Alas, great icons never live long. The King of Rock ‘n’ Roll Elvis left us when he was only 42. The King of Pop left us when he was 50.
To Michael Jackson, RIP. You may have left but your legacy will continue to stay.
Now Channel U is showing the Korean version of Meteor Garden.
Wow. The manga must be super good to have 3 countries adopting it for live-action.
First up, the Taiwan version.
Secondly, the Japanese version.
Thirdly, the Korean version.
And lastly, a comparison of all the actors with their respective manga characters.
Personally, i think the Japanese version is the worse among all three. Not in terms of plot but the selection of the actors and actresses. Wah kao. I am very sure there are many more handsome-looking actors out there in the land of the rising sun. And it is quite a shame considering the fact that Meteor Garden manga originated from Japan.
My personal favourite is the Korean version followed by the Taiwan version. I must say, the producers really put in lots of efforts in selecting the actors and actresses.
I wonder, just maybe, will Mediacorp produce the Singapore version?
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen Trailer
Enough Said.
Sherlock Holmes
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they were exhausted and went to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
“Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
Watson replied, “I see millions and millions of stars.”
“What does that tell you?” Holmes said and Watson pondered for a minute.
“Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that The lord is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have, a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?”
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. “Watson, you idiot, Some bustard has stolen our tent.”
My precious laptop crashed on me on Monday, right during a meeting with my boss. Wow.
It happened so suddenly that I don’t even have time to react or be surprised. You see, it went into standby mode during meeting. Wanting to retrieve some info from my email inbox, i just ran my finger past the fingerpad. Apparently, my lappy wasn’t very pleased with my lack of attention towards him and decided to just shut me out and the method is kind of extreme i would say. He first show me a blue screen before displaying the message that says that the file needed to start Windows is either corrupted or missing. Even my colleagues, who are professionals in the IT industry, have nothing to say.
What actually surprised me from this incident is my reaction. In the past, i would be very very angry and pissed off. In fact, I will be so angry that hitting or throwing my lappy across the room is considered minor release of my anger. The worst case scenario that could happened is me bringing pieces of my lappy to the service centre. My reaction this time round is very cool. Too cool to the stage that i am kind of surprised and stunned. When the error message was displayed, i simply shut down my lappy and sit through the meeting. After which i just sit down in one corner and stare at my lappy while thoughts of how to retrieve my important data from my hard disk are racing through my mind.
I can’t really pinpoint the exact reason for my drastic change in reaction but i guess it has to do with growing up ba. As you grow older, you have more important priorites in life and experiences change the way you view the world. In the past, before my lappy, I view my desktop as almost everything. I can play games, i can surf net, i can do a lot of things and it seems that there is nothing to look forward to beyond my desktop.
Now, to me, my lappy no doubt plays an important role in my life but he is not everything. When he crashed, it is just like any other electrical appliances that has broken down. Just get it repaired. After all, there are many other things to do beyond my lappy. Life still goes on and it is important to fully utilise your time to do something more meangingful.
But! To prevent my lappy from being angry again, maybe i should name him. Suggestions?
Beyonce – Halo
It was actually meant for Leona Lewis, but she is not free. So…
Anyway, on a side note, my dance club friends and I are practising a dance based on this song.
Click on the link to see it. Haha
Some of my classmates are either overseas now or back from a vacation.
Damn. I am so green with envy now. How i wish i can just leave everything behind and get out of this island. Anywhere will do. Excluding Sentosa though.
If only, if only, my bank account is not keeping my impulse in check.
Four Daughters
Four men went golfing together one day; three headed to the first tee and one went into the club house to take care of the bill. The three men started talking, bragging about their daughters. The first man told the others, “My daughter is a home builder and she’s so successful that he gave a friend a new home – for free.”
The second man said, “My daughter was a car salesperson and now she owns a multi-line dealership. She’’s so successful that she gave a friend two Cadillacs.”
The third man, not wanting to be outdone bragged, “My daughter is a stock broker and she’s doing so well that she gave her friend an entire stock portfolio.”
The fourth man joined them on the tee after a few minutes of taking care of business. The first man mentioned, “We were just talking about our daughters. How is yours doing?” The fourth man replied, “Well, my daughter is a lesbian. I’m not totally thrilled about it, but she must be good. Her last three girlfriends gave her a house, two cars, and a stock portfolio.”
Left 4 Dead II Teaser Trailer
I suspect there is a conspiracy going around to drain poor guys like me what little money we have left. First up, games creators released Red Alert 3. Then they released Sims 3. Now they planning to release Left 4 Dead II. And let us not forget that Starcraft 2 and Diablo 3 is releasing soon. For gamers like me who only buy originals and say no to piracy, this is bad, financially, mentally, emotionally.
And the sad part of all? I can’t resist the conspiracy.
