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Trick or Treat!
Blonde Joke in an All-Blonde Bar
An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde woman.
3. I’m a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde gal with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Damn.
My 1st ever reservist starts next week.
I am so ill-prepared for it. Furthermore, i got a exam in the midst of it and Kenshu planning is coming up. Plus, i am shifting from my current Starbucks store to a new one that is located in City Link Mall. The best part is that i am stuck in reservist while the others are preparing for the opening. I am so going to feel left out.
Haiz.
Strange Postcard
A doctor started having an affair with his nurse. A short while later, she told him that she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there.
“But how will I let you know the baby is born?” she asked.
He replied, “Just send me a postcard and write “spaghetti” on the back. I’ll take care of expenses.” Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy.
Six months went by, and then one day the doctor’s wife called him at the office and said, “Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don’t understand what it means.”
The doctor said, “Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to you.”
Later that evening the doctor came home, read the postcard, and fell to the floor with a heart attack. Paramedics rushed him to the hospital emergency room. The head medic stayed back to comfort the wife. He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest.
So the wife picked up the card and read: “Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti – Two with sausage and meatballs; two without. Need more sauce”
“Nowadays kids ar. From studying at MacDonald to Starbucks. What’s next? French restaurant?”
- Random Starbucks customer
Females, one hell of a creature we males will never understand, even though our DNA coding is 100% similar. For your info, humans and chimps DNA is 98.5% similar.
Be it that period of the month, the stamina to shop that i think will put marathoners to shame and the mood swing that is so extreme the spectrum to measure is like the distance from the Sun to <span style=”font-style: italic;”>once-a-planet-but-now-a-star</span> Pluto.
But, as the world evolves and gender equality getting more prominence, males are slowly getting to understand females because, if a female can do it, why can’t a male?
Personally, i think that in a way promoted the springing up of metrosexuals. Males are slowly accepting and enjoying services that not too long ago belong exclusively to the domain of females. Beauty salons to most is a place where females will hang out with their girlfriends and spend the whole afternoon there doing a facial or enjoying a spa session. In fact, it is something expected of them as they are required by society to look beautiful. Nowadays, more and more males are joining the ranks of females visiting spas and beauty salons to the stage whereby the industry simply open up salons devoted exclusively to men. All these changes happen so fast that i still remember not too long ago males will laugh at other fellow males who go for a facial or a spa session and nicknamed them “sissy” or whatever similar. Nowadays, well, nobody really cares.
Anyway, my point is not on metrosexuals or males going to beauty salons. My point is, why do they go? Today, i guess i can finally understand a little bit after my first facial session.
Yes. Laugh or do whatever you want.
For reasons i am lazy to elaborate, i went for a facial today and i can only say, “SHIOK AR!” The feeling of being served by a professional is like a king being served by his servants. Wow. Furthermore, the face feel so refreshing after a facelift, literally, and i can’t help but feel my face more. No, it has not reached the stage whereby the ant will slide down my face but well, at least the ant will start to have some difficulties.
In a society where looks is paramount, it is not just the females who are feeling the heat to look good. Males are slowly being scrutinised too. So, what better way is there than to walk out of a beauty salon feeling refreshed and comfort in the fact that your skin is well taken care of by professionals?
Now i can’t wait to try out spas…
Any kind sponser out there?
It is an awesome feeling after a run. The sweat, the aching muscles, the fast beat of your heart and not forgetting the breathlessness that makes you appreciate the wonderful feeling of being able to breathe. Wow.
It is a feeling i once enjoy during my NS days. But after ORD, well, the motivation is just not there. Temptations are everywhere, from Ben & Jerry’s ice cream to KFC crispy chicken. Plus, you are too caught up with studies, friends and life as a whole that exercise became the last in your list of priorities.
But in order to prevent my body from growing sideways, i went for a run just now and boy, the feeling is wonderful. It may be a short run of 3km but it is enough for me to find back a little of that feeling i use to enjoy.
With my reservist coming up, i better find back the whole feeling before i kick the bucket during my 2 weeks in camp.
The $100 iPhone+iPod Touch Stand
Wah cool! Can’t wait to try!
Problem is, i don’t have a iPhone or iPod Touch and definitely not a US$100 dollar note.
Sadz.
Monday… the start of a brand new week.
Yet on this day i was late for school. Damn. What a nice way to start a week.
Had a talk with Jess not too long ago. Been a while since i talked to her. Jess, if you are reading this, take note that it has been a while since i talked so much. So be honoured. Haha
Well, one particular topic dominated most of the conversation. Nope, i don’t want to say what it is. But all i can say is, sometimes, 只在乎曾经拥有.
Karmic relations is something we can’t comprehend. If it is yours, it is yours. If it is not, it is not.
All i can say is, i am bloody too tired to think about it and i have decided to let Gohonzon and Fate determine the next step. Now i just want to look forward to the 2009 Tozan and the 2010 trip to Oklahoma.
Speaking of which, i can’t wait to fly there now. My current lecturer is from OCU and the way she relates the experience over at Oklahoma is SOOOO enticing that seriously, i can safely say that my class can’t wait to storm any travel agency and get our asses on the next available plane to Oklahoma. But, i am a bit worried about the Economy Class Syndrome though, cause the plane trip is fucking 24 hours long. Wah lao.
HOWEVER! I need to get back to reality. Now is 2008 and tomorrow i have school. Damn. Reality hurts.
Life at work is good
A young technician and his boss board a train headed through the mountains. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother.
After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young tech are interested in each because they are giving each other “looks.” Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black. There is a sound of the smack of a kiss followed by the sound of the smack of a slap. When the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there without saying a word.
The grandmother is thinking to herself: “It was very brash for that young man to kiss my granddaughter, but I’m glad she slapped him.”
The boss is setting there thinking: “I didn’t know the young tech was brave enough to kiss the girl, but I sure wish she hadn’t missed him when she slapped and hit me!”
The young woman was sitting and thinking: “I’m glad the guy kissed me, but I wish my grandmother hadn’t slapped him!”
The young tech sat there with a satisfied smile on his face. He thought to himself: “Life at work is good. How often does a guy have the chance to kiss a beautiful girl and slap his boss all at the same time!”
