You are currently browsing the monthly archive for August 2008.
Bad Habits
A man complained to his pal, “I can’t break my wife of the habit of staying up until 5:00 in the morning.”
“What is she doing?” the pal asked.
“Waiting for me to get home.”
Gold Medalist
Three women were sitting around talking about their sex lives.
The first said, “I think my husband’s like a championship golfer. He’s spent the last ten years perfecting his stroke.”
The second woman said, “My husband’s like the winner of the Indy 500. Every time we get into bed he gives me several hundred exciting laps.”
The third woman was silent until she was asked, “Tell us about your husband.”
She thought for a moment and said, “My husband’s like an Olympic sprinter.”
“How so?”
“He’s got his time down to under 11 seconds.”
History repeats itself again as Li Jia Wei lose to world No. 1 Zhang Yi Ning in the semi-finals of Table Tennis Women Single at Beijing 2008, meaning that Li Jia Wei will have to slog it out at the Bronze Medal match, just like she did at Athens 2004. Only this time, her oppoenent is either former world No. 1 Wang Nan or Guo Yue.
Oh well, by tonight we will know whether China has a clean sweep of the Table Tennis Women Single or the bronze has legs and run over to the arms of Singapore.
We shall see…
Edit: Well, apparently the bronze medal legs not strong enough to escape Guo Yue’s arms…
I don’t know what to say… but seriously, US need to do some team bonding.
Over at Beijing’s Bird Nest, both the US 4X100m relay men and women team were disqualified, simply because they drop the baton at the last exchange.
LOLZ.
Wah piang. What the hell are they thinking?? The US gave the world a shock when the men drop the baton at the last exchange. Than the women repeat the same shit AGAIN at exactly the same place.
LOLZ.
Latest update:
Michael Phelps is CONFIRM GUARANTEE plus CHOP bringing home 8 GOLD medals from Beijing 2008, cementing his place in history. Wah piang.
And… he is only 23 this year…
Happy 43rd Birthday Singapore!
Woohoo!
And to all out there, Happy National Day!
Three Envelopes
A fellow had just been hired as the new CEO of a large tech corporation. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes. “Open one of these if you run up against a problem you don’t think you can solve,” he said.
Things went along pretty smoothly, but six months later, sales took a downturn and the CEO was really catching a lot of heat. About at his wit’s end, he remembered the envelopes. He went to his drawer and took out the first envelope. The message read, “Blame your predecessor.”
The new CEO called a press conference and tactfully laid the blame at the feet of the previous CEO. Satisfied with his comments, the press — and Wall Street — responded positively, sales began to pick up and the problem was soon behind him.
About a year later, the company was again experiencing a slight dip in sales, combined with serious product problems. Having learned from his previous experience, the CEO quickly opened the second envelope. The message read, “Reorganize.”
This he did, and the company quickly rebounded.
After several consecutive profitable quarters, the company once again fell on difficult times. The CEO went to his office, closed the door and opened the third envelope. The message said, “Prepare three envelopes.”
Woo… Greetings from Genting Highlands, Malaysia!
Been a while since i last visited Genting and well, much have changed. There are now more indoor entertainment and more shops for you to shop.
Basically, i think Genting want to show Singaporeans aga aga what it will look like when the IR they manage open in Singapore. Eh, i would say not bad la. Haha. Can fight with Vivo City. Wah, if they bring in the indoor monorail and put in the IR, they win. Right now, as i am typing, one monorail tram has just passed me by. Woo…
Three men were trekking in a tropical jungle when they were captured by the natives belonging to a carnivorous tribe.
After much pleading and stuff, the chief agreed to let them go on the following condition.
“Go inside the jungle and find any fruit. Gather ten of them back here. If i can stuff all these 10 up your arsehole, I will let you go”
The men did as they were told.
The first man returned with 10 mangoes. By the 3rd mango, he could not take it anymore and was eaten.
The second man returned with 10 longans. He hang in there and things were going okay until the 8th longan, when he begin to start laughing and no more longan could be stuffed in anymore. So he too was eaten.
Over at Heaven, the first man asked why the second man laugh when he could have just hang in there a little more and be freed.
The second man replied, “I saw the third man coming back and he was carrying durians!”
